PCOS

I have battled my weight my whole life.  It consumes me - what did I eat, how much, what are the carbs/macros, why did I eat that, why couldn't I stop?

My friend is getting her Masters in counseling so I let her interview me for one of her classes.  She asked me when I first "felt" issues with my weight.  I didn't hesitate - third grade - dance recital.  Easy.  Sad, but an easy answer.

I have always wondered why it was so hard for me to lose weight.  I worked out all the time.  I learned about nutrition.  Yes, I snack, but not obsessively.  If others did what I did, they WOULD be lean and healthy.  Why wasn't I?

I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) when I was 22.  I didn't even realize what it was (an autoimmune disease), but was able to thankfully not notice any of the symptoms because I was young and worked out all the time.  The other side effects I just dealt with.  Around age 30, the fertility side effect became an issue, along with the weight, so I paid a little more attention to it.  However, fast forward to age 40 and a divorce (and everything that goes along with that) and a new, more stressful job and BOOM.  Full blown issues.  I have not been able to get control of my body, my weight and my health.  Quarantine has been awesome for workouts.  I work out every day to amazing workouts from my old gym.  Exercise is not a problem.  I tried the desperate route of Keto.  I loved the easy recipes, but was barely making any progress.  I finally decided to Google Keto and PCOS and realized (and now accepting) that I have to eat based on my body, not a diet that would provide a quick and easy way to lose weight.  I need low-carb, no dairy, no processed meats, no sugar, etc.  My body hangs onto that stuff.  Now that I am in my forties, I have finally accepted what I have and given up the "it's not fair" mentality.  I feel a peace with it because it alleviates all the other options.  I really only have one option - whole, healthy foods.

My ultimate goal is to feel strong and healthy.  That is how I define myself and there has been a disconnect between that and what I currently am for too many years.

I'm going to start transitioning this week with the Keto food I have prepped into whole food/Whole 30 recipes and balancing macros instead of relying heavily on fats/low carb.  I'm hoping by documenting my journey, although personal, will help keep me accountable and provide lessons as I look back at my journals.